If You Don’t Like It….

by Kena Paranjape on September 2, 2008

"If you don't like something, change it". Maya Angelou is credited with this quote, but I believe my mother has been saying a version of it for years. Whenever my sister or I would complain about something, she would always ask, "What can you do about it?". Depending on our answer she would either brainstorm or evaluate options with us (if we had them), or tell us to accept it and move on until such time we could make a change (if we had none).

Eckhart Tolle writes in his book, The Power of Now, that in any situation we ultimately have three choices:

Change it or
Walk away from it or
Accept it

Note that complaining is not one of the options. My mother and Eckhart Tolle agree and communicate the same message, but sometimes it takes a contemporary spiritual teacher to get your attention (sorry Mom!). Somehow, there is some comfort in knowing that in any given situation all you have are three options. You can agonize over it and analyze it every which way, but it boils down to three choices. If you are struggling with your job you either need to be creative about how to change it, quit and find a new job, or accept that this is the job you have, you are unwilling to change it or leave it, and let go of the struggle. If you hate where you live, you can either renovate or decorate, move, or accept your home for what it is and quit stressing about it.

But even more comforting is the thought that you never NOT have a choice. There are always options, but it is up to us to choose. Maya Angelou, my mother, and Eckhart Tolle concur.

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