How to Be Your Most Charming, Delightful Self in Any Situation

by Kena Paranjape on February 1, 2011

Audrey Tatou: Quietly charming

Charm is a wonderful thing. It can get you a better table at a restaurant, a life changing introduction that might have otherwise passed you by, or a job. It can also lead to stronger connections and wonderful friendships. Charm can have a negative connotation, if used for evil (ie manipulation or greed) but not if it is about you being your most charming, AUTHENTIC self for good.

Some people seem to have a natural charm, like a Jude Law or a Cameron Diaz. But everyone has it in them. Not to toot my own horn (ok I'm tooting a bit), the below strategies have helped me to get any job I've ever really wanted, impress my husband's colleagues after one meeting and found me an esteemed mentor. So they work.

1. Make eye contact. Seems obvious, but the next time you're out, try paying attention to who you make eye contact with. If you really look someone in the eye, you instantly feel a human connection. There are times where I purposely avoid eye contact, but if you are looking to make a connection with someone, don't skip this!

2. Smile from your heart. Most of us are pre-wired to smile on introduction so it is often instant and requires no thought. But if you look someone in the eye and then smile from your heart, you show them a piece of you.

3. Be authentic. Don't try to act like someone you're not. People will see right through it or worse they will make conclusions about you that are far from the truth.

4. Find a common connection. The best way to almost instantly connect with another human being is to find something in common. Perhaps you both love sushi, or Jersey Shore (which I will NEVER understand!) or tennis. Find that connection and you are well on your way.

5. Watch your body language. Lean forward, to show that you are listening. Try not to cross your arms in front of your body and try to avoid fidgeting (as if to say, I can't wait to get out of this conversation!)

6. Don't forget a firm handshake. This is the most common career advice you read but I am still so amazed at how many weak hands I shake. And a tip for the guys - if you are shaking a womans hand and you are much larger that she is, try not to crush the bones in her fingers.

7. Show a readiness to be pleased. I took this line from Gretchen Reuben's The Happiness Project (which I am reading right now) because I loved it so much. Laugh at a good joke, smile at a cute story, ask questions, make comments. We all love to be heard and found to be interesting.